How did it escape the notice of those gung-faux warriors hung up on mock battles that last week was the 50th anniversary of the Bay of Pigs?

Oh, sorry, my mistake. That was a CIA fiasco, no U.S. troops involved. Too bad. It would have made a swell souvenir show, though it might have offended a large segment of the population in south Florida.

Not that the door’s ever closed for exhibitionist war buffs. Casting calls are out for bit players anxious to celebrate next year’s bicentennial of the War of 1812, including the master scene that features the burning of Washington (Tea Party members preferred, but Bring Your Own Torch).

Then of course there’s that long-awaited biggie in battlefield slaughter, the upcoming 100th anniversary of World War One, those glory years of trench-digging, mustard gas, Verdun and the Somme, beginning with a stirring re-enactment of the assassination of the Archduke Ferdinand in scenic Sarajevo (Sean Penn would be perfect for the part).

All of which is by way of wondering what confederacy of historical dunces came up with the idea that the way to mark the sesquicentennial of the bloodiest war in American history is with a four-year orgy of fun-and-wargames, climaxed presumably by the crazed John Wilkes Booth’s assassination of our 16th President. (Charlie Sheen would be perfect for the part.)